these go to 11.

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never not weird

Writing a bio for yourself.  I’ve lost the ability to be straightforward and keep resisting the urge to start it with “Erin is a fucking Chicago bigmouth who would shut up if she knew what was good for her.”

No, not that.

“Erin is on an unending quest for the perfect pair of semi stretchy high waisted jeans. She spends her free time leaving dirty plates lying around.”

God, stop it.

“Erin rarely shits.”

UGH NO.

“In early 2009, Erin was found washed up on the shores of Gitchi Gumi, wrapped in an old newspaper and clutching a burned out Hitachi magic wand. She was 25 years old, spoke 17 languages, and had no memories from the prior 18 months.”

I’ll just grab the nearest book jacket and see what that person did.


  1. carry-onbaggage said: Two days before Steve Jobs died, I had to write a bio for myself. I wrote a bio for Steve Jobs with my name (also Erin) and submitted it to my new employer. I’m a copywriter so I thought I’d been clever. Nope.
  2. beforeisleep said: i had to write a bio for myself for work, and was the only person at my company who wrote a funny one. people who work in marketing aren’t funny (except me).
  3. sparkle-monster said: Go with the last one. Just do it.
  4. nortonn said: Contemporary opinions see Erin variously as a saintly mystic, visionary, healer and prophet or, on the contrary, as a debauched religious charlatan. Accounts of her life have often been based on dubious memoirs, hearsay and legend.
  5. cannonball101 said: Erin is kind of a big deal. If you don’t already know things about her, then you are probably not very awesome, and thus undeserving of further knowledge.
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